"Dr" Laura

Pretty sure this is the first time I've ever heard a white person with a radio show openly ask a black person why they shouldn't be allowed to say the n-word and argue why they should be allowed to in not so many words.

Not surprising then when this finally happened it was Dr. Laura. She's Rush Limbaugh with an older, less used vagina.

But first we need to step back and ask an important question: Why was this pigeonhead with an overpriced haircut still on the radio?

If I remember correctly, she gave herself the moniker of Dr. without there being any disclaimer that it was just for entertainment purposes. It wasn't until some reporter who hated went digging around that this came to be news. I'm sure whoever hired her in the first place knew it was bullshit and probably even came up with the idea, but misleading people like that is a scumbag move. She doesn't even give good advice so I guess shame on middle America as well for giving her words any credibility.

I digress ...

I heard the audio this morning and she's pretty damn racist.

My favorite part was probably right after the caller went over what was bothering her and why (she's married to a white dude and the white dude's friends and family make what she perceives to be racial remarks) and Dr. Laura immediately declared there is no racist undertones and then launched into a tangent about black people voting for Obama and why they did.

LOL WUT?

News flash, dip shit. This was the first time in the history of the country where a black person or a woman actually stood a real chance of becoming president.

I'd full expect every black person or woman in America to vote in a biased way solely because of this - and she acts surprised? Wow.

Pretty sure we've had more than our share of WASP fuck-ups so let someone else take a crack at it.

Back to the original question by the caller. As Dr. Laura, even if you personally don't agree that the comments or questions have racial undertones it's something very real to the caller which makes it an issue to discuss. She's not asking if it's racism. She's saying something bothers her and she's asking you, self-proclaimed know-it-all with a radio show, how to deal with it and talk it out, you fucking moron.

Apparently the husband's family and friends are making the woman feel like she needs to be the spokesperson for all black people everywhere by asking her what black people think of such and such etc. etc.

Huh? I really wanted to find out what those questions were.

So tell me... what do black people think of diversifying your portfolio by trading Options and Futures?

Can I ask you something? Do black people wonder why stopping the space program for 2 years hasn't been done yet even though it would erase our deficit and cure homelessness and unemployment?

I'm really curious.

Anyways.

Then Dr. Laura ended up telling the woman, "Don't go all NAACP on me." You stay classy, San Diego. The only way this call could have been more of a dumpster fire is if she kept throwing in the phrase "you people" when talking to the woman.

It seems like she was genuinely wondering why white people can't say the n-word and black people can.

Look, there are certain unwritten rules that we have to follow in this life.

1. No talking in the restroom. Ever.

2. When two women want you to say which one of them is right, always side with who will give you poon.

3. White people can not say the n-word.

It really comes down this. Why do you want to say it? When would you ever say it where it would be socially acceptable and not make everyone else uncomfortable? If Obama came on TV and said, "Ok, assholes. You win. We give up. Just say it from now one whenever you want to." In what situation to you run into a room thinking "Ooooooooooh here's my big chance! Finally, time to shine!"

Besides a Klan rally or in an internet forum, where you won't get your own asshole force fed to you.

The word has taken on such a hate filled, bigoted meaning that you should never want to say it or even want anyone else to say it no matter what the context.

In rap it's just a filler line for rappers who can't write worth a shit. Same thing in comedy. It'll get cheap laughs and takes no thought or creativity to write the material. Just say it loud and clear at the end of a worthless punchline to save the joke.

I'm sure all of this sounds funnier in my head but I've been wanting to write anything but poker content so a big thanks to this bobble-headed dunce for giving me the chance.